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Thursday, February 21, 2013
Are You Ready to Date Chinese Women?
If you are looking for a life partner on a Chinese dating site, it would probably be because you sincerely believe Chinese women possess the traits you are looking for in a wife and can offer you the kind of companionship and love that women from your own culture cannot. As with all things related to love and relationships, however, things are not as simple as finding a person with the right blend of characteristics. Many times, in fact, people end up with those they would normally not be able to get along with, much less tolerate. But love has reasons which reason cannot understand, as the French philosopher, Blaise Pascal, said.
Chinese women, indeed, possess a number of traits that make them very suitable life partners. Compared to women from the west, and even some women from other eastern cultures, the women of China were molded by thousands of years worth of good family values. A lot of these values have, of course, served to oppress them for much of their history. At the same time, these values have made devotion and faithfulness innate characteristics of China women. There are, however, other deeply-ingrained and culturally-endowed traits that may clash against yours and, at the least, make you shake your head at times or, at the worst, really test your patience.
One such trait that you will have to learn to accept is the importance of "face" to the Chinese. More specifically, they are obsessed with not "losing face," which means losing prestige, dignity, and reputation. For example, when the meaning of an instruction gets lost in translation and, as a result, a mistake is committed, a Chinese person would either try to cover it up by making up an excuse that would not involve an admission that he/she misunderstood the instruction, or he/she would just stay silent and pretend that there was no mistake committed. They would go to great lengths to avoid embarrassment and conflicts and, at the same time, to be accommodating and polite all in the name of "saving or maintaining face." To a foreigner who does not fully understand this deeply-ingrained trait, it may look like a form of dishonesty or deceit. In a lot of cases, they would rather stay silent, refusing to give an answer, when the answer to the question is a "No."
The Chinese also live by the saying "He who says the least says the most." Normal conversations would often involve mostly metaphors, allusions, intuitive comparisons, or hints, rather than getting straight to the point. They also always expect the person they are talking to know to read between the lines and grasp their meaning. At the same time, they try their best not to put anybody in uncomfortable or embarrassing situations. In other situations, the Chinese can be so direct and frank to a point that can be considered tactless. This can be perfectly exemplified by their wont to ask people they just met and especially a potential husband about personal information such as their age, educational attainment, profession, and how much money they make. And when the Chinese don't like you, they make it perfectly clear.
These examples, of course, are not of traits that should be automatically considered negative, unfavorable, or undesirable. They may, however, pose problems in a relationship when a foreign man does not have an adequate understanding of Chinese culture. And then there are those who, despite having substantial knowledge of its culture through years of living in China and interacting with its people, a foreign man may still find some Chinese traits and behaviors a challenging test of patience and tolerance. This would not automatically mean that he dislikes the country and its people, only that he also has deeply-ingrained beliefs and traits of his own that were influenced by his own culture and which do not conform with certain aspects of Chinese society.
When one has set his heart on finding a wife among the covetable women of China through Chinese online dating, he has to be ready to take the woman he chooses in her entirety, pleasing and vexing traits alike. After all, she would be doing the same for him and going through the same challenges of understanding and accepting his culture.
A great way to learn more about China and its culture is through highly informative blogs and forums featured in only the most reputable Chinese dating sites, such as www.ChinaLoveMatch.net