Wednesday, November 4, 2015

Yellow Fever and Western Men Dating Chinese Women: It’s Time to End the Insulting and Racist Stereotyping

What is wrong about a western man only wanting to date Chinese women? Why is this trend such a big issue among western women? Can so many western men’s preference for Chinese women be summed up as nothing more than a “yellow fever” affliction?

An article published recently in The, and subsequently on, paints an inaccurate and unfair picture of countless western males’ preference for dating women from China. Consequently, their viewpoint also further reflects a measurable degree of discrimination against China’s daughters. The condition known as “yellow fever” did use to mean, in some circles, that a western man had a vile sort of attraction to Chinese women; but times have changed and so has the meaning of the term.

The growing trend of western males dating Chinese women today has more to do with the former’s changing attitudes toward dating and relationships; and this change in attitudes has been brought about, in turn, by the attitudes of western women toward men, dating, and relationships which have become increasingly unacceptable to western men. It would not be a stretch to say that today’s western females – with their radical ideas about feminism and their tendency toward man-hating and male-bashing – have pushed their men to seek out more ideal options outside the box, so to speak. And the majority of these western men have all come to the same conclusion that Chinese women are the ideal choice for a mate.

Yes, it has come down to western women versus Chinese women, and the women of China have been winning for many, good reasons. Their interest in dating men far west of their shores may seem like an opportune coincidence and has often been treated with suspicion, particularly by their western counterparts. Call it serendipity, but a devious scheme by opportunistic females it is not.

Right smack in the middle of this battle between the women from the Far East and women from the west are the western chaps. Ordinarily, such a scenario would be a fantasy come true for these males. But it is not that these two groups of women are fighting over them; it is that the western lasses are becoming unhappy (yet again, surprise, surprise!) with their men’s choices. How dare they choose those porcelain and slender beauties (they would probably use a more offensive term) over them? Such a behavior is contemptible! The western blokes in question cannot have good reasons for preferring oriental beauties over the women from their own society! Such a preference must be malicious and is, therefore, detestable! It’s abhorrent! It must be some sort of disgusting affliction! Why? Simply because no man in his right mind would prefer some other woman over a modern, confident, “enlightened”, fair, western female!

The oriental maidens, as a result, have also come under attack – their intentions when dating men from the west are often questioned, and their place in their society scoffed at. Such contempt directed toward the women of China strongly imply that these women are inferior to the bold and beautiful women of the west. What else could they possibly have to offer aside from their exotic quality and submissive nature? This is a perverse assumption in itself, and the women that make it reveal their perverse point of view – a point of view that only mirrors itself and does not reflect at all why western men desire Chinese women.

This sort of thinking is at best archaic, and at the very worst racist.

The men of the west have plenty of good reasons for choosing to date and marry women from China. The increasingly unattractive qualities that so many western women have developed make up half of the puzzle. Their radical feminist ideas; their vicious hate towards the male sex; their need to emasculate their men in order to prove they are “equal” or superior to them; their aggressive behavior that make their men feel useless and less of a man; and their blasé attitude with regards to how their actions affect their men – all these and more have made western women less and less likable to western men, especially as long-term/lifetime partners.

In fact, the condescending, insulting and shamelessly racist application of the “yellow fever” label to all these western men for the “sin” of simply loving and cherishing their Chinese wives is, in itself, pretty strong evidence supporting western men in their desire to seek better life mates outside their own borders. The application of the label “yellow fever” to the love between two human beings because the woman is Chinese or Asian and the man isn’t is not only demeaning and insulting towards the man, but it is even more insulting and bloody well racist towards the woman.

The many, desirable qualities of Chinese women make up the other half of the puzzle. Contrary to what their defamers insist on, this group of women from the Far East are modern and sophisticated; they are educated and intelligent; confident and independent; strong and highly capable; and, most importantly, they still possess traditional values when it comes to relationships.

Today’s Chinese women may have a modern way of thinking and behaving; but they have kept the most important traditional values that their culture have taught them. They may have transformed themselves and reconstructed their gender roles, in their society, family, and relationships; but they did so without busting any male egos and ripping apart their manhood. They claimed their equal place in their society without viciously attacking the opposite sex with cruel feminist ideology. And they do not mind preserving their femininity. They do not see femininity as a sign of weakness, as something unattractive; they see it for what it is – their nature – and they take pride in it.

They recognize that a man needs to be a man in a relationship, and a woman needs to be a woman, and that this does not necessarily mean that they are not equal. They still know the true value of loyalty and devotion in a relationship, which they demand from their man and which they also gladly give in return.

So why wouldn’t western men find Chinese women desirable? Why wouldn’t they want to date them or marry them? These days, being afflicted with “yellow fever” has a very different meaning. It’s a condition that many western men would be lucky and smart to have; it’s a condition that can actually lead to true and lasting happiness. Western men dating Chinese women is like the proverbial match made in heaven. No amount of mud-slinging from hateful individuals, no amount of stereotyping, can make something that’s genuine and natural less than what it is.

As a Western man married to a Chinese woman, I take great offense to the suggestion that my loving my wife somehow makes me a freakish sexual pervert, and that our marriage is a product not of our love for each other, but of a fetish on my part and greed on her part. I can assure you it is neither. I am also the co-owner/manager of an International Chinese Dating site that takes great pride in fostering long term relationships with a goal of life partnership and/or marriage between good, loving and totally sincere western men and Chinese women.

As such I can assure you that there are countless other couples like myself and my wife who are being wrongly slandered by publications that carelessly and wrongly toss the “Yellow Fever” label around as if labeling every married couple in the world made up of a non-Chinese man and a Chinese woman, however many millions of us there may be, as having come together as a result of sexual depravity.

The Telegraph and ChinaDailyAsia owe myself, my wife, and millions more like us a sincere and public apology. Of course, we are not likely to receive one, but perhaps they could at least consider putting just a little thought into the garbage they publish before slandering huge numbers of people en masse with no justification whatsoever.

Friday, June 12, 2015

Moving the Earth and Sky for Your Special Chinese Woman! (or Simply Moving in or to China)

Once you have found The One, the Chinese woman you want to make your wife and spend your remaining days with, you will feel like you can do anything, even move the earth and sky for her. Once you land back on earth from your dreamy heights, the reality may be more like your beloved wanting you to move so the two of you can be closer. This will likely be true whether you are living in your foreign home or already an Expat living in China. This is certainly one good reason to have a change of address, especially if it will make your cross-cultural relationship go more smoothly. Other reasons, which are just as valid, may include a career change or simply a need to have a change in environment.

In any case, the language barrier and the various cross cultural challenges in China can make relocating a stressful experience for an expat. If you’re already living in China, you should also take the lessons you learned when you first hunted for an apartment in China and use them to make your task of finding a new home a lot easier. If you’re lucky enough and already have a special Chinese woman as your girlfriend/fiancée, let her help you. Additionally, there are certain obligations and concerns you will have to address prior to your move; you will need adequate time for these, so make sure you know what these are and you won’t be blindsided by something you should’ve expected and taken care of in a timely manner. Here are the most important considerations you should take into account.

If your move will also mean a change in employment, have you fulfilled your contractual obligations to your current employer? Do you have a new job lined up or will you need more time to secure one first?

Is the apartment lease under your name or the company who hired you? If it’s under your name, you may need some time to settle some bills, work out and wait for necessary repairs (whether or not you caused any damage; some landlords can be difficult and crafty), and to get back some of or your full deposit. The special Chinese woman in your life will be able to make your discussion with your landlord go easier, especially if your Chinese communication skills and his English skills are both not good.

Do you know if your bank allows access to funds outside the city where you opened your account? If yes, are there service charges and how much? You should find out early what type of bank account you have and if you might need to close your account and simply open a new one after you move. In fact, you may need to do this anyway when you start a new job and if the company requires that you open an account with their bank; so, you might as well go ahead and close your current account.

The same goes for your phone service; do you know what your plan is, if you will be charged roaming fees once you move out of your current city, and how much these fees will be? Contact your service provider for the information. It might be easier for you to just change your SIM card or your mobile phone service provider after moving.

If you are moving to another city, have you cancelled your current residency permit? You need to do this before you can apply for a new one for your move to a new city. You may also need to apply for a tourist visa if you will still be looking for a job in your new location. You may go through the same process of application for the necessary paperwork that will allow you to move and work in a different city as you did the first time you moved to China, so have all the important papers you will need handy. You may also need to submit new forms before you can even apply for another work visa; find out everything you will need to process when planning a move.

Have you decided how you will move your belongings? The actual move itself can be a real pain in the rear, not to mention all the packing you have to do prior to your move, and then the unpacking after. Depending on how far you will be moving and how much stuff you will be taking with you, you can take the train (you may have to pay for an extra seat for your stuff); fly (it’ll be faster but will also be more expensive especially if you will also be paying for excess luggage); or use a freight-moving company or the China rail (if you will be moving a lot of stuff that you can’t take with you while travelling to your new home). Research all these options and make all the necessary inquiries ahead of time. Perhaps your Chinese woman or her family or friends can help you find a trustworthy and affordable moving service.

Have you familiarized yourself with the procedures that are required for foreigners who have just moved to a new city? The law requires newly arrived expats to register at the Public Security Bureau, or PBS, in the area with 10 days of their arrival. You will have to provide your passport, a photograph, and proof of your temporary/permanent accommodation. Make sure to keep the official registration certificate that the PBS will give you because you will need this when you apply for a new residence and foreign expert certificates.

If you will only start apartment hunting after you arrive at the new city, do you know if the terms of rental are the same as those in your current location? Don’t let yourself be caught unawares by a hefty expenditure when apartments in your new city require new tenants to pay six months’ worth of rent. If you are relocating to be closer to your Chinese woman, then she will be able to tell you how the terms of rental in the new city go and you will be able to prepare yourself financially. If there is no special woman as of yet, make calls to apartments in the new city to find out.

Whether you are moving to a new city for your Chinese woman and for the success of your relationship, for a new job opportunity, or just because you need the big change in your life, it can prove to be an exciting and stressful experience. Do yourself a favor and reduce the stress so there will be more excitement by making all the necessary preparations and completing all the necessary steps for your big move.

Dating a Chinese woman can be as challenging as it is rewarding, but it is definitely worth the time and effort. Understanding not only Chinese history and culture, but also the issues that expats in China have to face will prove very helpful as they face the challenges of Chinese dating and being in a cross-cultural relationship. One can find invaluable information on the blogs, forums, and magazine of, the home of trusted Chinese online dating and where foreign men and Chinese women share their life experiences and bare their souls to give you the real goods on love, cross-cultural relationships, and all things Chinese.

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

Scam-Free Chinese Dating, Genuine Chinese Women – Only on

Why choose Chinese dating and Chinese women? Because if you are looking for lasting love and happiness, if you are looking for that ideal woman, and if you have become jaded by your western dating experiences and your western relationships, then it’s high time that you explore bigger and better possibilities!

Why choose Because on CLM, we give our members a real community – where their dating and relationship success is our priority, and where we take their security very seriously! CLM has distinguished itself as a true leader in the online Chinese dating industry. One of CLM’s major innovations is the introduction of Scammer Prison and scammer notices, in which, rather than hiding its head in the sand and pretending scammers don’t exist like all the major social sites do, CLM hunts down scammers on the site and publicly exposes them to the members. Other firsts by CLM include IP checking by the members to ensure the people they are dating really are where they say they are, and instant computer translation between the western men and the Chinese women.

Now the site has introduced a redesigned home page on which we have introduced a couple more unique features. The first is the posting front and center on its new homepage of the video above, hosted on Youtube, in which is explained the workings of the site and why members should join. But perhaps the most daring undertaking to date, which is a first in the international online dating scene and perhaps on the internet generally, and which unequivocally lays out CLM’s commitment to truthful online Chinese dating, is a public condemnation of specific online dating sites for scamming their own members. Both in the Youtube video, and in writing on the new homepage, CLM denounces certain Asian and Chinese dating scam sites by name.

True love. The One. Your soulmate. Your ideal woman. Is this what you’re still looking for? On CLM, we make it our business to help our members succeed in the world of online Chinese dating; we proudly and wholeheartedly uphold the spirit of online dating – which is to pave the way for men and women to meet each other online and provide the opportunity for them to find love. In the case of, we have created a real community where genuine, Chinese women and sincere, western men can meet, date, and form meaningful relationships. And, of course, our main goal is to help our members find their Miss or Mister Right – their China love match!

Online dating, particularly international online dating, has developed a bad rep as a hotbed for scammers and criminals, where men and women who are seriously looking for friends or love are sucked dry of their hard-earned money and their hopes for happiness. Of course, the international online dating scene has also become just another venue for the illicit mail-order bride business.

However, Chinese online dating is changing, and has been playing a vital part in this change. It is a well-known fact that matchmaking had always been a serious affair in China, until it was banned only a few decades ago. But the essence and importance of this traditional Chinese practice in Chinese society remain until today because relationships and marriage are taken very seriously by the Chinese. Chinese men and women date to marry; not just to have fun. Chinese dating sites – the few reputable and trustworthy ones, being a key player among these – are in the serious business of making matches that last a lifetime.

It won’t be an exaggeration to say that true love almost has a mythical quality to it; many get to a point in their lives where they begin to wonder if it’s even real, or if they’re really meant to find it. Finding love, not even the True and nearly mythical kind, can already be a frustratingly tricky endeavor when you’re just looking within your own social group; and the task can only become increasingly harder the farther you venture outside your circle. But for those who are earnestly seeking that elusive dream of lasting love and happiness, stepping outside their social and cultural boundaries is the most obvious and logical choice.

The world has become a smaller place because of internet technology, and international online dating – despite the proliferation of scams within the community – has made countless dreams come true. It is true that a great number of international online dating sites out there are only in the business for the money; so many of them are nothing more than scam sites, while the rest don’t take their obligation of protecting their members from scammers seriously. Nevertheless, there are still international online dating sites of good repute, sites that measure their success in terms of the success of their members. prides itself on aggressively unmasking scammers and scam sites. We take the fight to them; through the CLM blogs and articles, CLM has taken up the mantle of challenging what we have branded as Scam Site Money Funnels. CLM has assumed the responsibility of being the vanguard of honest online Chinese dating; and CLM Director, John Abbot, has been in the forefront of the fight. In one of his more eloquent blogs about the issue, he says:

“We need to seriously endeavor to take a giant leap from this small community we have founded and try to expand across the internet the concept that honesty and decency are the true forces that must prevail.

I am aware this seems overdramatic and maybe even self-serving, but I can’t help it. I am disgusted by what I see as the future that my children (and yours) will inherit if we don’t take a stand on this issue today.”

In response to the question, “Why have you taken up the cause of exposing scam sites?” John Abbot says, “The internet is overrun with Scam Websites and individual scammers abound across the net on every social network and dating site and nobody seems to be doing anything about it. The effort has to start somewhere, so why not with us. We can at least try to clean up our industry and educate our members to avoid being scammed! Hopefully the other sites will follow suit, and maybe we can shame the big sites to taking some action too. ”

In the world of online Chinese dating, is unrivaled in the quality of service it provides to its members and its level of trustworthiness. What makes CLM the cream of the crop?

The CLM Blogs. The blogs are a CLM feature that is unique to the site; nowhere else in the online dating world will you find a site that offers such a trove of knowledge about dating, relationships, and marriage in general and within the international, cross-cultural, and Chinese contexts. What makes the CLM blogs even more exceptional is that they are written by the CLM members themselves: Chinese women and western men who want to share their own experiences, thoughts, and knowledge about anything and everything related to the quest for love and the forming of meaningful relationships. Having a genuine sense of community is something that CLM continues to nurture and is highly proud of.

CLM Forum. Another distinctive feature of ChinaLoveMatch is the CLM forum. What better way to learn about Chinese women and Chinese dating culture than by asking them directly? The CLM forum offers a one-of-a-kind opportunity for CLM members to post questions and get answers straight from the female Chinese and male western members themselves. Indeed, CLM encourages its members to reach out to each other and participate in enlightened and provocative discussions via the forum. It is a remarkable and convenient venue to exchange ideas and information. That’s why members of CLM are always well-informed about any and all topics relevant to online/Chinese online dating, cross-cultural relationships and romance, and western and Chinese culture, among others.

CLM Scammer Prison. The CLM Scam Prison is a singular element of the site put in place to safeguard CLM members. The Scammer Prison defines and reinforces CLM’s commitment to track down and expose scammers and to make a scam-free haven for western men and Chinese women sincerely looking for love.

All the tools that CLM offers its members are designed and regularly updated to enhance their online dating experience - make meeting each other and developing meaningful cross-cultural relationships not only possible, but also easy, pleasant, and worthwhile. Like we always say, CLM members never feel like they are just another number – they always feel that they are a valued member of a real and tight-knit community.

Genuine, beautiful Chinese women join CLM because we provide an environment where they can feel safe; where their hopes of finding a good, western man that will show them real romance, respect, and love are nourished; and where their individuality, thoughts, and feelings are acknowledged and respected.

Sincere, western men flock to CLM because they have realized that Chinese women embody the ideal woman and ideal partner; because our female, Chinese members are real women looking for a long-term or lifetime commitment, and a partner that they can wholly devote themselves to; and because at CLM, they can find kindred spirits among other male members.

The question shouldn’t be “Why choose” anymore; the question should be, “Why aren’t you on yet?”

Wednesday, May 14, 2014

Chinese Women and the Boundaries They Walk

All throughout history and all over the world, women have tried countless techniques to become beautiful, and especially to meet the standards of beauty set by their society. Chinese women are no exception and, in fact, were subjected to one of the most painful and debilitating forms of “beauty enhancement.”

For hundreds of years, foot binding was practiced by women because having small feet (the ideal length was around 2.75 inches) was considered beautiful and was also a status symbol. Chinese men, back in those times, preferred wives with tiny feet; as a result, foot binding was necessary for Chinese women to find a husband, particularly one who was wealthy.

In order to achieve three-inch “lotus of gold” or four-inch “lotus of silver,” millions of women had their feet bound by their mothers when they were still children – when their bones were still softer and easier to break and bind so that their growth would be stunted.

For beauty and the chance to marry into wealth, Chinese women had their feet bound very early in their lives – between the ages of two and four, before the arches of their feet formed. The ritual extended over many years until the feet stopped growing and the desired length was achieved.

First, the child’s toe nails were clipped and her feet soaked hot water, or a warm mixture of herbs and animal blood, to soften them. The feet are then massaged and covered in alum; afterwards, the bones in all the toes, except for those in the big toes, are broken and bent toward the sole; the arch is also broken. A silk or cotton bandage is used to tightly bind the toes in place.

Every day, or every two days according to some sources, the bandages are unwrapped and the feet washed so as to avoid infection. Each time the bandages are replaced, they are wrapped more tightly than before. The girls have to regularly walk long distances, wearing increasingly smaller shoes, to further crush and bend their feet into the desired shape and length. The experience was excruciatingly painful and one that they had to endure everyday and for many years.

Even after the practice was finally banned in 1912, it still persisted as the idea that tiny feet made a woman more beautiful and more desirable as a wife also did.

While the Chinese did believe that foot binding made Chinese women more beautiful, the practice also served the purpose of literally and figuratively hobbling women and making them more dependent on men. It was one of the most extreme means by which the society “kept women in their proper place” and to make them conform.

Nowadays, foot binding is believed to have been completely eradicated; beyond no longer being physically maimed, today’s Chinese women are certainly enjoying more and bigger freedoms. They have access to better education and job opportunities; they are given the chance to elevate themselves in society and to become financially independent, as well as to experience the joys that such independence brings.

At the same time, many traditional expectations and standards that limit women’s behaviors and roles still exist in modern Chinese society. These are no longer forced, but the pressure for them to conform can still be great enough to influence modern Chinese women’s decisions. Additionally, they face modern expectations and pressures that, while they may come in a different form, still continue the tradition of “binding” women to society’s standards. High-heeled shoes; being a size zero; having certain body proportions – toeing the boundaries between traditional and modern demands on China’s daughters are definitely no cakewalk.

Understanding not only Chinese history and culture, but also the current issues affecting China, particularly those that affect Chinese women will prove very beneficial in enriching a foreign man’s knowledge of and experiences in Chinese dating. One can find invaluable information on the blogs, forums, and magazine of, the home of trusted Chinese online dating and where foreign men and Chinese women share their life experiences and bare their souls to give you the real goods on love, cross-cultural relationships, and all things Chinese.

Friday, May 9, 2014

Breaking Up With a Chinese Woman is Hard to Do

Unless you’re a cold-hearted man, breaking up with any woman, especially if the relationship was a very serious one, is always hard to do. Breaking up with a Chinese woman can even be harder for a foreign man because most Chinese relationships carry with them the expectation of a lifetime commitment, and for many women of China, taking their time dating and looking for Mr. Right is not a luxury they can afford.

Chinese women may have become westernized in a lot of ways, even when it comes to their attitudes toward dating and relationships; but many still possess certain traditional values that attach importance to a high degree of devotion and permanence in relationships. Foreign men dating Chinese women will meet some who are open to casual dating and taking their time getting to know each other without having huge expectations; but a lot of times, the women they’ll meet will not be looking for anything temporary and uncertain.

Once a Chinese woman starts to “date,” marriage is almost always in the cards; whether it’s sooner rather than later depends on the woman and her circumstances, but the expectation is there. This traditional mindset excludes the possibility of the relationship not working out, so when it doesn’t, the breakup often involves an all-consuming emotional intensity that is not commonly seen in western breakups.

How a Chinese lady handles a breakup also depends on her age, maturity, level of independence, and attitude toward relationships in general and the relationship in question in particular. The same can be said for most other women all over the world. But the emotional and psychological distress that a woman from China experiences when breaking up with a foreign man, or even a Chinese man, is normally brought about and compounded by the unrelenting pressure for them to find a husband and have a family.

This is not to say that the only loss they mourn is that of the chance to end their search; they also feel a genuine loss for the promise, not just the possibility, of having found a person they can grow old with and a stable family life. Many Chinese women do not view a breakup as the proverbial one-door-closing-and-another-one-opening situation; the way they see it, the door is a one-way ticket to a one-way path toward marriage. There are no other routes that they can take if the one they’re on doesn’t take them to where they want to go.

Again, it is the mindset that they have when they go into a relationship, one which is cultural in nature rather than a personal predilection. Not being able to handle a breakup calmly or without hopelessness and a fatalistic attitude does not always mean that a Chinese woman is immature, desperate, or irrational; it has more to do with the high expectation she had and the deep emotional investment she made in the relationship.

So a foreign man dating Chinese women must always keep in mind that setting the right expectations from the very beginning is extremely important because it means the difference between a cognizant heart that is willing to take a risk, or a crushed one that may take a long time to recover. Be sensitive, be considerate, and, most of all, be honest.

Dating Chinese women can be as challenging as it is rewarding, especially for a foreign man looking for his dream Chinese wife. Understanding not only Chinese history and culture, but also the issues that often arise in cross-cultural relationships with Chinese women will prove very beneficial in enriching one’s knowledge of and experiences in Chinese dating. One can find invaluable information on the blogs, forums, and magazine of, the home of trusted Chinese online dating where foreign men and Chinese women share their life experiences and bare their souls to give you the real goods on love, cross-cultural relationships, and all things Chinese.

Wednesday, October 2, 2013

The Hunt for a Chinese Wife

It is certainly the height of irony when a society that has always had a traditional preference for sons now has a desperate need for more daughters. Coupled with the country’s one-child policy, China is now facing an alarming surplus in single men; in a society that values marriage and family above everything else, having millions of unmarried men certainly poses a serious challenge to some of its beliefs and practices. As a result, the hunt for a suitable Chinese wife has become an increasingly difficult task.

The amazing growth of China’s economy has certainly improved the lives of a huge percentage of its population. But as in most powerful economies, the distribution of wealth also becomes increasingly skewed over time. For the countless, single men of China who struggle from one paycheck to the next, the traditional standards against which a “good husband” is measured practically doom them to a life of bachelorhood.

On the other end of the spectrum, unmarried rich men can have their pick of an ideal Chinese wife. In fact, all they have to do is pay for the professional services of an agency whose business is to find and collect potential partners based on their client’s specifications and personal preferences.

Indeed, China’s shortage in women has created plenty of business opportunities in the country’s marriage market. In addition to the boom in the Chinese online dating industry, the more “traditional” business of matchmaking has also evolved to meet modern demands.

For example, there are now dating agencies that exclusively cater to the needs of male multi-millionaires and billionaires looking for a suitable Chinese wife. They pay an exorbitant annual membership fee to have so-called professional love hunters do the footwork and literally go on the hunt for single, Chinese women that meet their requirements.

These requirements often include a master’s degree from a reputable university; being a certain age; having white, flawless skin; having a certain height and weight; some even demand a wife that looks like a Chinese model or actress that they admire.

The very high demand for a Chinese wife leaves many more, single, working-class men with very poor prospects, or no prospects at all. Traditional standards mean that a husband must be able to provide his wife and family with a stable income, a house, and, sometimes, even a car. But for most of these less privileged bachelors, just supporting themselves is already a daily struggle.

With the cost of living in China, especially in the cities, becoming too high for the bigger part of the country’s population to afford, many single men face the very dire reality that they may never be good enough and earn and save enough to find a Chinese woman to marry.

And then there are those single men in China’s rural areas for whom being single for life is a choice that was already made for them. The greatest human migration in history – that of hundreds of millions of rural Chinese migrating to the urban areas – involved single-journey tickets for most rural Chinese women whose plans included finding a well-paying job and a good husband and building a new life in the city. This means that the pool of women eligible for marriage in the countryside became even smaller and the competition for a good Chinese wife became even fiercer for the many men left behind.

The Chinese dating and marriage markets now also have foreign men jumping into the fray, propelling the demand for a Chinese wife even higher, and these foreign men have an advantage of being able to offer a different, and perhaps better, way of life. This gives them an edge, especially regarding Chinese ladies approaching their thirties or older. With so many single, good men competing for them, Chinese daughters who were the less preferred children can now have the last laugh.

Foreign men who seriously wish to find a Chinese wife should always keep abreast of current issues that affect today’s Chinese women. There are tons of great information about Chinese women, Chinese dating and relationships, and all things Chinese on the blogs, forums, and magazine of (the home of trusted Chinese dating).

Friday, September 27, 2013

Do Chinese Women’s Shopping Behaviors Reflect Their Dating Attitudes?

It’s not too much of a stretch to say that shopping and dating are very similar activities. Dating is, after all, akin to “shopping” for a boyfriend or husband. For many single, working Chinese women, their increased spending power has(unsurprisingly) given rise to “blind consumerism,” partly as a result of the fact that shopping does give women a certain high; and also partly as a result of the Chinese concept of face. It is the latter that also drives many Chinese women’s attitudes toward dating and husband-hunting.

According to a comparative survey of women’s attitudes, titled ““Women, Power & Money,” conducted by public relations firm FleishmanHillard, and which included women from the U.S., U.K., France, Germany, and China: compared to 35 percent of American women, 68 percent of Chinese women surveyed said like to compare items when shopping online using their tablet or smartphone; 53 percent said the wide variety of shopping options make them feel overwhelmed; and they are very concerned about the quality and safety of the products they buy. (Source:

As much as Chinese women have the tendency to buy compulsively, they are also very mindful of what they purchase. This is actually consistent with their preference for reliable, high-quality, luxury brands. For the most part, this preference is closely associated with their preoccupation with status symbols or, as it is known in China, the concept of face.

Given their very busy work lives, combined with the demands of modern life and their filial duty to find a good husband, online dating is also the preferred and most popular method used by modern, working Chinese women. How many of these women select their mate reflects not just the incessant and heavy pressure to do so as quickly as possible and to choose properly as traditions dictate it; it is also influenced by the Confucian concept of face.

Chinese women not only have to find a husband before a certain age; the candidate must also meet certain standards, otherwise their families will lose face. Not being married when they’re already 27 or older also causes their families to lose face.

The aforementioned survey also asked the participants about the level of satisfaction they have in their marriages. Among the five countries surveyed, Chinese women were the most unsatisfied with their married life. Only 37 percent of the Chinese respondents said that they “feel very fortunate” to have their spouse/partner in their life, and only 20 percent said that their spouse/partner is the “ideal companion” they have always dreamed about.

Perhaps if these Chinese survey respondents were also more mindful of how they chose their partner, the same way that they are mindful when shopping online, and instead of getting married because traditions dictated it and so as not to lose face, then they would be happier in their married life. At the same time, they must not only look for quality in terms of a man’s financial worth; they must give greater consideration to what a man is really made of and if he fits into their life.

While online shopping may be a lot like online dating, and shopping as an activity is very similar to hunting for a husband, Chinese women must learn to have the right attitude and priorities when looking for a life partner. Unlike shopping for items which can be returned or exchanged, or even given away, a husband is supposed to be a companion for life. Many women of China still date to marry, not just to have fun, but they do have to find the right motivations if they ever hope to find happiness in their marriage. Gaining face will not give them that.

A foreign man looking for a Chinese woman to marry would do well to learn as much as he can about the relevant issues affecting today’s Chinese woman. He can find invaluable information on the blogs, forums, and magazine of, the home of trusted Chinese online dating and where foreign men and Chinese women share their life experiences and bare their souls to give you the real goods on love, cross-cultural relationships, and all things Chinese.