Sunday, November 4, 2012

The Tao of Online Chinese dating

So I have been getting quite bit of feedback on my recent blog Why I Prefer Chinese Women about an ad I saw on a local Chengdu website where an American female college student placed a personal searching for a not so discreet sexual encounter with any wealthy, young, good-looking man who happened to be in the area, clean of sexual disease, willing to wear a condom and take here to a nice hotel.Most of the responses to my blog and through email have come from men who declare that for a variety of reasons are no longer dating Western women. Instead, these men have started Chinese online dating.

They did not necessarily think the saga I reported is indicative of all Western women—neither do I for that matter—but they did use their correspondence and comments to portray about a fundamental disappointment with American women that they could not even put into words. In my opinion, what is the root of this attitude and draws them to online Chinese dating is a disappointment with America.

For if the woman’s ad is not indicative of all American women, it is indicative of something in the American soul at the present moment. And this is a rapaciousness, an insatiable appetite as illustrated by the fact that Ayn Rand is the philosopher of the day, Ayn Rand whose book the virtue of selfishness says all you need to know about her philosophy. It is an insatiable desire for wealth that had made it not a coincidence that an obscenely wealthy business man is the nominee of the Republican party and is currently leading in a majority of polls. It is a greed and a lack of compassion unlike anything I have witnessed in my life, and it might well overtake my country and if so it will be unrecognizable in a few years, its public education in ruins, its social safety net decimated, the wealth gap at unprecedented levels.

And this woman’s ad so captured this spirit, not asking whether something is the right thing to do but doing it simply because it could be done, because it satisfied an urge, an appetite. This is all America has become: a big empty mouth or vagina waiting to be filled, a penis or a bank account waiting to be emptied. So I think it is with a sense that there must be something different and a hope that it lies in the East where balance and wisdom have always lain that these men turn to China. Of course there is an argument that China is beginning to copy and even surpass America in this winner-take-all attitude. And this is not without more than a grain of truth. But it is also the case that especially among the women on Chinese online dating sites who refer to themselves as traditional there is a sense that deeper, more permanent values are what they are in search for. So I do not think these men will be disappointed.

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