Wednesday, September 18, 2013

A Foreigner’s Chinese Love Affair

Living and working in China, in pursuit of one’s dream to have a Chinese wife and to start a new life, is a Chinese love affair not only between a foreign man and a Chinese woman, but also between a foreign man and Chinese society itself.

A foreigner’s relationship with China, much like any relationship he may have with a Chinese lady, can be culturally challenging, exciting, frustrating, and memorable at any given time. There are highs and lows, but he must learn to take the good with the bad if he is to live a meaningful and fruitful life in the Middle Kingdom. Much like the Chinese concept of yin and yang, he must find balance and promote harmony in his new life.

Indeed, China has a lot to offer those who come seeking new experiences, better opportunities, and even their long-desired Chinese love. At the same time, their new set of circumstances will always have that sense of foreignness; and there will be times when exposure to cultural stresses and other societal and environmental factors that they’re not used to will get to them or when they will feel more strongly than usual being an outsider and not belonging to the community.

For instance, foreigners who live in China’s first-tier cities, such as Beijing or Shanghai, often enjoy the cosmopolitan feel of these areas; the availability of western comforts and luxuries; the opportunity to live both a lifestyle very similar to what they left behind and one that is also culturally different enough to make every single day a new adventure.

That is only one side of the coin, however. The opposite side brings with it challenging experiences that include breathing in smog for which these cities have become infamous; risking their life everyday when they step out of their house and into the streets congested with honking and speeding cars driven by reckless drivers; and not knowing if the food they’re buying from a street vendor, at a restaurant, or at the market is safe to eat.

Sure, the cities also offer excellent Chinese dating opportunities, especially with women with modern sensibilities. A foreign man can easily make a good living in any one of China’s urban centers and also start a family with the Chinese love of his life. Especially because foreign men are often given preferential treatment in the country, and their earning capacity is also often higher, they can afford to provide a fairly comfortable and a very secure life for their family.

Aside from the modern comforts and great job opportunities, though, the quality of life in a Chinese city is not the most ideal to raise a family. While preferential treatment is usually favorable for the foreign man, albeit unfair to the locals, unfavorable treatment is just as typical. No matter how long you have lived in China, even if he speaks the language adequately enough and/or married into a Chinese family, he will always be a foreigner, an outsider.

Then again, every time a foreign man finds himself bemoaning the difficult life in China or the challenges of being in a cross-cultural relationship, he must also remind himself of the many good reasons, both big and small, why he chose to begin a new life in the Middle Kingdom and why he feels that a Chinese woman makes the most ideal life partner. He must also remember the reasons why he left his old life; because, at the end of the day, he did trade his old life, one that he found unsatisfying and unhappy, for a new one in a society whose rich culture he has always admired, whose people he has always respected, and for the dream of finding his true Chinese love.

To get started on your Chinese love affair and to discover the many ways that a foreign man can experience China, as well as about interesting and valuable information about Chinese dating and relationships, Chinese women, and life in China, visit the blogs, magazine and forum of (the home of trusted Chinese dating), where international men and Chinese women share their life experiences and bare their souls to give you the real goods on love, cross-cultural relationships, and all things Chinese.

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