As a foreign man looking for a Chinese life partner, your preferences and expectations probably lean toward the traditional traits Chinese women have always been known for; at the same time, given that you are looking for a lifetime commitment, you would also desire a very mature relationship, which presupposes that you would prefer a lady who is mature both emotionally and mentally. Most divorced Chinese women would definitely fit the bill. As Chinese good luck would have it, foreign men do not immediately cross off divorced China women as suitable wives.
Everywhere else in the world, being divorced always carries the stigma of failure. In China, this stigma is even greater for the woman, even if the failure of the marriage was the fault of the husband, simply because the woman is unmarried, has no husband to support her, has no husband to take care of, has no husband period. It does not matter if the woman is financially stable, has a stable career, and a house. Chinese norms dictate that a woman must be married; there are no ifs or buts about it. The longer she stays unmarried, the bigger a disappointment she becomes to the family and the more undesirable she becomes to any Chinese man as a wife. The mere fact that she is divorced already makes her an unsuitable candidate as a wife. Why would a foreign man consider a "disappointment" of a woman a suitable wife?
On the flip side of the coin, the fact that the woman went through the divorce - despite the stigma she would have to carry, despite the disappointment she would cause her parents, despite the judgment of her community, and despite the fact that she would find it almost impossible to find another husband - is solid proof of her strength of character. She made the decision knowing full well the consequences and that she can stand on her own; this is a clear expression of her independence. She chose to end a marriage that was not working and would only continue to fail, a relationship/situation that was unrewarding and unfavorable; this indicates that she is a well-adjusted person, both mentally and emotionally.
If the divorcee is financially independent and, perhaps, even owns a house (as a result of her divorce settlement or otherwise), you can also be assured that she won't like you mostly because you can provide her with financial support. Having said this, there are also many divorced women who are desperate for a husband because of their poor financial situation; these women, of course, would present a completely separate set of considerations to a foreign man.
Going back to the independent divorcee, being that she belongs to the "older" generation of Chinese women, she would still possess the deep-rooted traits and values that would make her an ideal life partner. Additionally, she would also have the benefits of experience (even if it involved a failed marriage) which would have both tempered and further strengthened her character as a woman and a wife. Just because divorced China women are considered undesirable as wives by men of China does not mean this perceived undesirability is valid. To a foreign man, especially, the totality of what she has to offer is actually what would make her not just a very desirable life mate, but the most ideal one, as well.
One can learn a lot more from the insights and real-life experiences of other foreign men about China women, dating them, and marrying them, which they share on blogs and forums that can be found on only the most reputable dating sites, such as
ChinaLoveMatch.net
Hello. I am a Sri lankan .my web www.homestayhikkaduwa.com
ReplyDeleteI am willing to have matured lady friend from China.
haiii
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ReplyDeletei like to married any woman who divorced
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