Modern Chinese Women's "Modern" Needs

Modern Chinese women are still as practical as their traditional customs dictate when it comes to choosing a husband. At the same time, they have also developed an inclination toward finding satisfaction of some of their emotional needs. They have also realized that most men from their own culture are still incapable of satisfying these innate, deeper needs. So they seek out those who can: foreign partners.

Most modern Chinese women, even those who are independently financially successful, still place a high value on a man's ability to provide a house and financial security. More and more women have also "given in" to the natural yearning for romance, intimacy, and love in a marriage. They have finally appreciated the joys and other benefits of being in a marriage not only for practical purposes, but also for the purposes of emotional growth and satisfaction.

These "new" desires did not just develop, of course; these are basic, human desires which the Chinese have chosen to push aside in favor of practicality and out of their for-the-good-of-the-many mentality. Since Chinese society arose three thousand years ago, it has always valued the needs of the group more than the needs of the individual; and it has deeply ingrained this thinking into each individual.

Nowadays, however, many modern Chinese women are choosing to listen to and find nourishment for these desires. Does this mean that they have become more selfish because they are setting aside the needs (translation: expectations) of their families and society and focusing more on their own? Perhaps and to a certain extent, yes. Is it inherently bad? Not at all.

These "modern" needs are not born out of their lack of concern and respect for the needs/expectations of their families and society; they are born out of their realization that they also have to develop self-respect and self-appreciation, and to demand appropriate respect and appreciation. After all, their desire to satisfy these needs does not mean that they no longer value the important position that marriage and family holds in their society, nor does this mean that they intend to shirk their obligations to their family and society.

It can actually be argued that acknowledging these needs and seeking their satisfaction is a more effective way for these women to ensure the success of the marriage that they will choose to be in, therefore also establishing more firmly the prominent position of marriage in and guaranteeing its benefits to the society.

This may very well be an unintended consequence; the rationale behind the satisfaction of a person's basic needs being more beneficial to the society as a whole, in most contexts, is simply and has always been well-founded and a given. Given that Chinese society has always been about collectivism rather than individualism, however, these modern women of China still struggle to reconcile their sense of obligation to the collective needs of their society with their sense of obligation to themselves.

If these women can still meet their society and families’ traditional expectations for them to get married and start a family while also being able to satisfy their personal desires, then why shouldn’t they? If delaying marriage so they can also ensure their personal happiness will in no way be detrimental to their society and their families, then they can afford to wait and should be given the time to wait.

It can be said that these modern Chinese women have "evolved" a greater sense of self in an environment where doing so will be more disadvantageous than advantageous to them. In fact, the task of finding a Chinese husband who will not only meet their practical needs, but also their emotional ones is close to impossible. Most Chinese men still marry for practical reasons, such as to get ahead in their career, for better business opportunities, or for political connections. Fortunately for these women, international matchmaking sites have opened up new doors for them, where they can seek and find the ideal life partner they deserve among foreign men.

Discover tons of great information about online dating and cross-cultural relationships on the blogs, magazine and forum of ChinaLoveMatch.net (the home of safe Chinese dating), where international men and Chinese women share their life experiences and bare their souls to give you the real goods on love, relationships, and all things virtual, cross-cultural, and Chinese.