Saturday, June 15, 2013

Chinese Dating and the He Said, She Said Phenomenon

Chinese men believe the best age for women to get married is between 24 and 25 years, and for men it’s 27 years; Chinese women believe the most ideal marrying age for men is 32, and 28 for women (Source: China, you have a problem.

So when a 27-year-old Chinese man is finally looking for a suitable 24-year-old wife, the 24-year-old women are not yet ready to get married; and when a 28-year-old woman is finally ready to settle down, men around her age want a woman who is younger, if they’re not already married.

What we have here may seem like a simple disagreement between the sexes, but one that has been causing serious social problems because of other, bigger factors that are in play.

In a country where getting married and having a family are of paramount significance to the society, it would, of course, be just as extremely important that its single men and women are on the same page about when the best time is to get married. In a country where a surplus of single men is already a serious problem, being more flexible about one’s standards or requirements when choosing a suitable wife would be the most practical option for men.

It’s not like the concessions the men will have to make to secure a wife, at least with regards to age, are so steep and unfair. In fact, they’re neither steep nor unfair at all!These men won’t be giving up or losing anything by making a few years adjustment to their perspective! In fact, they even have more to gain because the “older” women they can be with have more experiences and the maturity that goes along with them.

But so many Chinese men are so unwilling to budge on this matter, and it has gotten to an absurd point where an increasing number of men are complaining about how hard it is to find a wife or that Chinese women are so hard to please, when there are so many Chinese women out there who will be happy enough just to find a partner who is honest, good, and hardworking, but who are completely written off by these men as unsuitable wives because they are nearly thirty.

One can point out that the women can make the necessary adjustment in attitude themselves. Sure, women in China are in a position to NOT make any compromises because they are, after all, the sought-after “commodity” in the tough Chinese marriage market. Unlike the completely reasonable concessions that the men in their country will have to make with regards to a woman’s ideal marrying age – concessions which, in fact, will not cost them anything – demanding that women marry at a young age actually means the loss of many opportunities for these women.

In other words, Chinese men adjusting their age requirements by a few years is in no way unfair to them; but having the women make the adjustments is completely unfair to them. The situation is not about who gets to call the shots; it’s about having a situation that is mutually beneficial to both sides, not just one. At least, this is how the Chinese men should start seeing it if they really want to solve their “problem” of bachelorhood.

There are so many single, Chinese women in their late 20s and early 30s still looking for a good husband out there; many of these women do not even care much about a man owning a house or being in a certain income bracket, because these women are pretty much doing well financially and have stable jobs/successful careers. They’re not just looking for a man to support them financially; they’re looking for a real companion. But they’re having trouble finding a husband among the men in their society because these men have already eliminated them from their choices.

This prejudice against a certain age group is just ridiculous because these women are the “riper” choices and they make more ideal partners. Chinese men do not have any idea at all what they’re missing, which is very fortunate for all the foreign men out there who are looking for a Chinese wife!

Discover tons of great information about Chinese women and Chinese dating on the blogs, magazine and forum of (the home of real Chinese dating ), where international men and Chinese women share their life experiences and bare their souls to give you the real goods on love, cross-cultural relationships, and all things Chinese.

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