Saturday, April 20, 2013

Online Chinese Dating: The More Practical and Less Romantic Side of Things

In real life, a person who has decided to go on a date and a few more subsequent dates with another may understandably be expected to do so exclusively and he or she may understandably expect the same from the other person. Again, the decision of exclusivity, even if they are only going on their first few dates, would be based on their assessment of the other person's desirability and their compatibility with each other. If after the first few dates, they realize there is no potential for a long-term commitment, then they can easily move on to other potential "dating" or "relationship" interests.

With online Chinese dating, a foreign man or Chinese woman can never truly tell if the person they have been communicating with online for a significant amount of time is their ideal match until the two of them have spent real time together in person. Only then can they make a better assessment of the other person's desirability and their compatibility with each other, and only then can they decide if there is real potential for a more serious and committed relationship. Because their first meeting would involve one of them spending a great deal of money to fly and visit the other person, not to mention time away from work, the person doing the visiting would be "investing" a lot of money and time on something whose real potential is yet to be determined. In other words, he or she would be putting all his or her hopes in an online relationship that still has a lot of "ifs" waiting to be figured out. What if the person they are visiting chickens out and does not show up at all? What if he or she turns out to be somebody completely different from the person they got to know and like online? What if the other person decides the person visiting is not his or her ideal match? What if the person visiting fails to meet the standards of the other? In other words, what if the entire trip turns out to be a bust?

It may take some of the romance out of the equation, but when it comes to online dating, a foreign man or a China lady must also exercise some practical common sense. Given that a trip to China or the man's home country would be a costly one, both in terms of money and time away from work, it would only be practical and understandable if he or she would also plan to meet with other potential partners (with whom he or she have also been developing an online "relationship" with for quite some time). This would not necessarily make the person dishonest or a person, unless of course he/she has always led the other to believe that he/she has not been communicating with others. Honesty, making one's expectations clearly understood, and understanding and respecting the other person's expectations are all important elements in any online dating equation. When the time comes for two people to finally meet so they can decide if they should take the next, bigger step, it would be most ideal if both have realistic expectations about the said trip and meeting.

When the practical elements have effectively done their job in ensuring that two people can make a well-informed decision about pursuing a long-term and exclusive commitment with each other, then the romantic elements can play a bigger role in the relationship.

Learn more about the aspects of Chinese online dating from other foreign men who share their real-life experiences and insights on blogs and forums which can be found on only the most reputable matchmaking sites, such as

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