Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Unwanted, Rare Chinese Women

When something is rare, it often means its desirability is very high; it is highly coveted. In China, for certain rare women, however, being rare does not qualify them as desirable; their rarity and qualities do not demand admiration. These Chinese women are rare and unwanted by the men in their society.

These women are those who are in their thirties and are still single or are divorced. It does not matter if they are financially stable, it does not matter if they are very successful, and it does not matter if they are educated. It does not even matter that most of these women are very beautiful. All that matters is they are still unmarried, or divorced and technically single again. They don’t have a man in their life and such a condition is simply unacceptable.

It is precisely for this reason – the unacceptability of such a status when a Chinese woman is already in her thirties – that these women are a rarity in Chinese society and in online dating sites. In addition to the immense pressure to marry and have children before they reach 30, women of China face the stigma of being one of the sheng nu, or leftover women, and the near impossibility of finding a husband should they fail to find a partner before the dreaded age.

When a Chinese woman reaches her thirties still unmarried, Chinese men of her age or older are already married. These are the men who are considered “suitable” husbands. For these women, the oft-repeated phrase that “all the good men are taken” is very real.

For single women, there is only the loss of face for still not having a husband and children and the disappointment of their parents to deal with. Divorced women have it worse; they are practically considered “spoiled goods.” It can be said that such an overt disapproval and judgment of unmarried Chinese women of a certain age is a means of keeping the women of a China on a short leash or restricted inside a box.

Given that many of these women are educated, successful, and independent, and given that they know very well what their capabilities are and their real worth as a woman and a partner, most of them are actually adopting a good-riddance-attitude toward the men in their society who consider them undesirable.

These women of China who know better than to agonize over their supposed undesirability also know that they deserve better. Most of the divorcees, in particular, do not want anything to do with Chinese men anymore because they have experienced firsthand these men’s tendencies to be unfaithful.

So they yearn for something better and actively search for it; many search for it on online dating sites. They seek out foreign men because they know these men make better partners than Chinese men; they know that foreign men will give them the respect and admiration they deserve.

Indeed, many foreign men find it very surprising that so many beautiful, successful, and educated Chinese women are searching for a foreign mate online. They may or may not realize that these women in their 30s, whether single or divorced, are a rarity in China and they may or may not be aware that this rarity does not increase these women’s value and desirability to Chinese men.

All they know for sure is that these women have many admirable traits – traits that make them the most ideal life mates. The fact that these women are considered undesirable in their society is actually a ridiculous notion for foreign men who have serious respect and admiration for Chinese women. But it also works to their advantage that Chinese men do not realize the real value of the women they are rejecting.

Call it serendipity, or fate, or simply the natural outcome of specific conditions coming together; but these rare Chinese women and foreign men who want a Chinese wife seem to be made for each other.

Discover tons of great information about Chinese women and Chinese dating on the blogs, magazine and forum of ChinaLoveMatch.net (the home of trusted Chinese dating), where international men and Chinese women share their life experiences and bare their souls to give you the real goods on love, cross-cultural relationships, and all things Chinese.

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